Ship's Log: Pirate's Magazine, 8-30-09

Cheers ta another issue!


This issue of Pirate's Magazine be featurin' me column, called "A Siren's Call" where I be searching fer women pirates in the modern world. I featured the article on two female tall ship captains, Capt Sela Dai n' Capt Elaine "Insane" Eno. This be dar 10th issue of the quarterly publication, which be found at yer local Borders Bookstore o' ye can purchase a copy at me website Hot Pirate Babes.Com.

Also included in me column is the Pirate Pin-Up, This issue features Victoria Vengeance from my first Hot Pirate Babe Calendar in 2007. I meet her while she be performing at the Hollywood Pirate Ball., arrrgh!

Ships Log: Sail Jacksonville , 5-29-09

Sail on dar larboard bow,

I took a half day ta attend Sail Jacksonville fer me love of real tallships. Here be two of my favorites, the frigate HMS Bounty n the privateer topsail schooner The Pride of Baltimore II.

Where dar be tall ship, dar be buccaneers, rouges n scalawags causing trouble. I meet many an old maties n' end up drive up saturday night to party with them. Wenching, Fighting N Drinking, a Pyrates Work be never done. Arrrrgh! me thinks I have another shirt ta design.

Ships Log: Nina & Pinta visit St Augustine , 5-9-09

Columbus sailed the ocean blue,

The Nina and Pinta (really the Santa Clara) are historical reproductions of 2 of the original ships that Columbus sailed to the New World. They are visiting in St Augustine from May 8 to 19 for lubbers to visit, $6 admission fee.

Dar Ancient City Privateer boarded the two tallship in mass, as that's what pyrates do, arrrrgh!

Ships Log: Black Raven Maiden Cruise, 5-9-09

Ta be at sea!

It grand ta have the wind ta yar back, sea spray in yar face n' salt air in yar lungs. I took the 6:15 sunset cruise on the first day of crusing, so technically it was the 3rd cruise n' not the maiden voyage. While not a reproduction tall wood ship, the Black Ravenis best steel tourist pirate ship on ocean. Unfortunately tall ships can't break even in the tourist business as they require more crew member, more up keep, and have less passenger capacity.

Overall the cruise be pleasant n' informative. As it be dar first day at sea, they still need a bit more work on their interaction with passengers. When they get dar liquor licensee n' permit to fire black powder on the water, it will be much better. You can purchase ticket for the Black Raven at my shop: Pirate Portraits N Treasures, dar horizon looks golden with more pirate attraction is this olde port town.

Ships Log: On the Cover of St Augustine Record, 5-8-09

Makin' a Splash,

I made it on the Cover of the St Augustine Record, the main local rag fer the oldest city in America. The paper photographer took a photo of me and Joseph O'Steen N Wife at the St Augustine Marine when the Black Raven first arrived into port on 4-22-09.

Ships Log: Black Raven Pirate Ship Arrives in St Augustine, 4-22-09

Land Ho!

After many years of waiting, St Augustines pirate ship has arrived in fine form.

Dar Black Raven be a beauty, she be 72 foot replica of a 1700 Spanish Galleon, with a capacity fer 127 pirates. Tickets be $38 per adults, fer 90 minute cruise with 3 to 6 departures a day. It be a week or so fer them to be ready to set sail, as Govenor's port commission (Coast Gaurd) must certify everything. Aye, she not be a true wood tallship with real sails n' miles of riggen, but a modern steel ship with two diesel engines n' lots of space, the perfect tourist ship.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - San Diego, 8-20-08

By Heaven n' Hell,

Only one day of rest between LA and the San Diego Festival of Sail. It was the last and best organized of all the tallship festivals, but not as good as Tacoma. 150 vendors all in one small area, almost everyone had good spot, lot of people but not many buyers. This one is 5 long days, with no time to board any of the tall ships.

I be the son of a double eye whore from the reeking gutter of Rotterdam if I don't have the luck of the devil with my last few assistants, every single one is hotty. Marina be this year's Miss Teenage San Diego. Life be good as a pirate.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - Los Angeles, 8-15-08

Bleed me,

The Festival of Sails Los Angeles be just like dar one in San Francisco: expensive, divided, disorganized, scarcely crowded, and not interested in purchasing from the merchants. I be soundin' like a complainer, but I'm tryin' to make money for my voyage to the Caribbean this year. Plus I between SeaWolf selling shirts for $10 and the Official T-Shirt vendor selling shirts for only $5, while i'm trying to sell my Molly Roger Tanktop for $20.

Our shirts are sexier, original, quality, exclusive, made in the US. We did alright against the competition because of my secret weapon, a saucy assistant wearing my sexy tanktop. I had be beat back all the other vendors who tried to steal her away. Doesn't Miko look totally hot, arrrrgh! Hopefully we will see her in the next calendar. We implemented the no picture without a purchase rule with great success. As it be hard to run a photo booth when your letting everyone take free picture of yourself.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - Oxnard, 8-8-08

Damn me buttons,

Here I be at dar Oxnard - Channel Islands Tall Ships Festival. This might be dar small of the Tallships Festival of the season, but it was profitable one, after I moved me booth from the front of the entrance to in front of the line for the HMS Bounty, the one made for the 1960 Mutiny of the Bounty movie with Marlon Brando. The weather was perfect with a nice sea breeze all day. Had dinner and rum at dar Port Royal Privateers encampment, fine group of rouges. May your grog be cold n' wet, your sails full of wind and yer women hot
n' sweaty.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail San Francisco: 7-23-08

By living thunder,

Ye would think that Festival of Sails San Francisco would be dar most crowded event ever if ye be listening ta dar promoter, but ye be wrong, very wrong. I recoken that dar be just too many things happening in the city or they just don't know how to promote n' organize. I got to the city a day early so I could take photos of the parade of ship, since it normally takes place while I'm vending. I even rented a special 400mm lens, which be mighty smart as the ships were a very far off from the shores.


Here be my very beautiful assistant, Teague, who you might see more of in dar future. I was entertained by a very talented Jack Spare Ribs. I hope ta see you at one the events that I'll be setting up my Olde Tyme Dress Like a Pyrate Photo Booth.

Ship's Log: Tacoma Tall Ships, 7-3-08

On my soul's salvation,

After a week of restlessness worrying if my grant trip to the great NorthWest has going to sink me financially, dar Tall Ships Tacoma be finally here. They put me between the speakers of the main stage and a large generator in the 3rd Village with the best ships. I complained n' was put on the sidewalk in the 2nd Village with had no tallships. They were gunning fer a million visitor, but I project they got a third to a half million visitors. All the other vendors were complaining and many left before the last day, but I did great. Fortunately I was 10 feet from the bus stop, this ended up being me best show ever.


I know I shouldn't be picking up strays, but this cute wharf rat had just disembarked from a tall ship from one of the youth sailing programs. We exchange pictures fer services rendered - I still have that monkey fist of hers. Without a doubt, this be a profit venture even with half the engagements.

Ship's Log: Rusty Scuppers, 6-20-08

I'd have the pleasure of saying,

that I be thinkin' that this here little pyrate event was going to be a bit corny and not very profitable, but I'd be wrong. I had a great time at the Rusty Scupper Pirate Weekend in Westport, Washington. They had a wonderful parade of pirate ships on floats as well as a few miniature pirate ships in the water. Dar weather started out a bit wet n' overcast, but dar sun come out on Sunday.

It was good ta be known by some of dar local pirate groups up in the great NorthWest. I should of gotten me a pretty little assistant fer it was my busiest event I have done by myself. Sink n' scuttle me if I don't be finding any wanned wenches.

Ship's Log: Fells Point Privateer Day, 4-19-08

Cool breeze in me face,

Privateers are men who sail a private armed ship by permission of one nation against another nations ships. Fells Point Privateers Day celebrates dar port which built real privateer ships. There be a canon battle between 2 privateer ship n' a British merchantmen. The power went out one hour after starting n' never got fixed fer the rest of the day, so I couldn't run my pirate photo booth. However, I did sell a lot of Molly Roger products.

It be a pleasure to spend a week with dar staff of Pirates Magazine n' visit the Baltimore Knife n' Sword shop.

Ship's Log: Oceanside Harbor Days: 9-15-07

Celebrate Me Birthday,

Oceanside Harbor Days been goin' fer many years, but this be thar first time with pyrates. The start be a bit slow, but it picked up later in the day. A mighty 6 pounder be crewed by all female, arrr! They had a nice gun battle between two tall ships n' 30 pirates with lots of black powered. I celebrated me birthday at the Jolly Roger Restaurant, got a wee bit drunk on a new drink, it be called Creamy KUM (Kahlua + Rum n' Milk).

The second day be even better since they put a bus stop right in front of me booth. I sold a record number of Molly Roger Wenchwear, especially the new booty shorts. Mark me words, this event be a grand treasure next year!

Ship's Log: Dana Point Tallships Festival: 9-8-07

Land Ho,

This be one of the first festival.that I didn't have a photo booth, which I have a few choice words for them survy dogs. But I made the most of it n' found a sloop that be needin' an extra crew member. The water be a bit rough n' some of them got sea sick, so half way though they disembarked. I some grand shot of the tall ships, yarrrr!