Ships Log: Tiger's New Wenches, 3-15-09

Yarrr!

Good help be hard ta find, but as luck have it I found a little waif of a girl, one step from living on her own like a steet urchin. Crazy Eyed Elise, my new first mate, can be found hawking fer me on St George N Hypolita Street on the weekends. What she lacks in sophistication, she makes up in guts n' eagerness. She may be short n' blonde, beware as she has become a deadly sword fighter in dar short time I have been trainin' her.

Her best mate, Red Hand Arial, 2nd mate be comin' aboard as seamtress n' backup assistant. They make up a lovely but deadly krewe, so come down fer a visit to Pirate Portraits N Treasures.

Ship's Log: Pirates in Paradise: 12-4-08

Da wind in me face,

N' the sun to me back felt good to be in the warmth of Key West for the legendary Pirates in Paradise Festival. Dar be many a pirates from across the county at this festival with in the gates of Fort Taylor. Buccaneers camped in historical tents only a few feet from the beach. Overall this be a grand festival from the re-enactment side, but a very poor event fer us vendors.


We pyrates joined in to the Holiday parade on saturday night, followed by much rum drinking in Key West. Here be Pearl, one of the many fine vixen who I got to know this fine weekend in Paradise, life be curse with too few day n' too many wenches.

Ship's Log: Florida Pirate Festival: 11-21-08

Well n' good,

Finally I've gotten me cargo from the Custom's Haus in Maimi, I am finally able to vend at dar Florida Pirate Festival in St Petersburg, Florida. This be my second time here at Vinoy Park. The performances by the festival's krew of pirates be first rate, both the day n' the night time fire performance.

The sinkin' economy has put a dent on all the festival, as nobody seems to be buying anything. This has gotten me to ponder on havin' to stay in Florida to survive the market. Dar be only 14 pirate events on the West Coast, but 38 pirate events on the East Coast, must be that dar be 3 times as many states on the east side.

Just like last year, I be blessed with finding some real lusty wenches ta shoot fer the next Hot Pirate Babe calendar. I found Nicole n' two other beauties to shoot next day in a sleazy hotel room.

Ship's Log: St Arrrugustine Pirate Gathering: 11-14-08

Call me a lubber,

Fer it be grand ta be back on dar mainland again! Curse me fer I be here at the first Saint Arrrgustine Pirate Gathering, but all me baggage still be in the customs house of St Thomas, do no vending fer me. So all I could do is take picture n' enjoy dar happenings. They had a grand parade through the streets of St Augustine, then a battle in front of dar cemetery. The freebooters walked down the old cobblestone roads of St George Street to fight in front of the Government House. Great crowds of on looker gather around to view the battle, but the trolleys didn't show up in time to bring them back to the Fountain of Youth. Dar vendors be dammed with no city folks to plunder.


Here be Molly, a beautiful wench I found at the tattoo booth. The Buccanner Bash on Saturday night be a blast with a number of pyrate musicians performing fer a rough crowd of drunken Buccaneers. Sunday morning's pirate court be very entertaining as well.

Ship's Log: St Thomas Pirate Ball: 11-1-08

Yo Ho Ho n' a bottle of rum,

Aye, dar be a night of fun at St Thomas Pirate Ball held at Blue Beards Castle. Featurin' the amazin' pirate fire dance troup, Pyros of the Caribbean.

By God's name, I have to comment Casey Thornburg, the event organizer for puttin' on this weekend's event, fer he be on his death bed with leukemia only 2 months ago, yarrr!

Ship's Log: Fantasy Fest: 10-24-08

Curse me,


This be my second voyage ta Fantasy Fest, the 10 day event of debauchery held on Key West, n' my very last event on the mainland before heading out to St Thomas. This years theme be "Pirates, Pundits and Political Party Animals."

Last year I did well vendin' at dar Fantasy Fest Street Fair, this year be a disaster in that I didn't even make me booth fee. On top of that it rained buckets fer 20 minutes at a time. Dropped my treasured Canon camera in the water n' couldn't take any pictures on friday, so I have no pictures at the Rum Barrel Pirate Bash Costume Contest.

After my camera dried out for a day, it begin working with some issues. So I did get some images from a hard day of shooting nude wenches walking around in public, who be more than happy to let ye talk photos of them. This be one of my favorite way of viewing art, yarrr!

Ship's Log: Pirate Days at the Colony: 10-18-08

Beginnin' of a long voyage,

Well this be my trans-american voyage to St Thomas. Well in the middle of my 3000 mile route, dar happened to be a pyrate event near Dallas, called Pirate Days at the Colony. It turned out to be a fine first time event, but they do need more pirates. It be a joy meeting with some long time fans of me artwork. Listened to a grand Celtic band called: NeedFire.



Here be two lovely wenches who happened ta be twins. Steady as she goes, maties.

Ship's Log: Two Harbor's Buccaneer Days: 10-3-08

Why is the rum always gone,

Cause all the pirates be partyin' at dar Two Harbor Buccaneer Days. I took the local ferry, the Catalina Express on friday. The tall ship, Lynn, made an appearance. I spend the weekend unloading me Molly Roger goods & calendars ta the hundreds of partying pyrates.

Sink n' scuttle me if I didn' have a long hard day placin' me Molly mark on dar many wenches lovely treasure chest. I pyrate's work is never done, arrrgh!

Ship's Log: Ojai Pirate Faire: 9-27-08

By the blood in me heart,

This be 17th year for Ojai Pirate Faire the oldest pirate festival on dar west coast. I be settin' up me Olde Tyme Dress Like A Pyrate Photo Booth for my very last faire in California. It be a very good weekend fer me, with saying good bye to lots of old friends.

Here be 3 of me beautiful models from the 2009 Calendar (Carolyn - Ms May, JJ - Ms June, Ramona - Ms July) who be on hand ta sign calendars on saturday. Plus Anyssa - Ms Sept (in wench with dar umbrella in the montage above) be on dar on Sun to sign as well.

Ship's Log: Oceanside Harbor Days: 9-20-08

Dar Red Coats be Coming!

Well this be dar second Oceanside Harbor Day with pirates, that I be vending at. It be fun to meet up with Capt Joseph Ferguson's Company of the Royal Welch Fusllers 23rd Foot Regiment at this event, as you need some bad guys to shoot at, arrrgh!

Not quiet as profitable in doubloons, but far more profitable in my search for pirate wentches. I had a number of lusty doxies drop by my booth to audition for the 2010 Hot Pirate Babe Calendar. Here be Siouxsie, my lovely assistant for the day. I continue to have the luck of dar devil in getting lusty wenches as helpers.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - San Diego, 8-20-08

By Heaven n' Hell,

Only one day of rest between LA and the San Diego Festival of Sail. It was the last and best organized of all the tallship festivals, but not as good as Tacoma. 150 vendors all in one small area, almost everyone had good spot, lot of people but not many buyers. This one is 5 long days, with no time to board any of the tall ships.

I be the son of a double eye whore from the reeking gutter of Rotterdam if I don't have the luck of the devil with my last few assistants, every single one is hotty. Marina be this year's Miss Teenage San Diego. Life be good as a pirate.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - Los Angeles, 8-15-08

Bleed me,

The Festival of Sails Los Angeles be just like dar one in San Francisco: expensive, divided, disorganized, scarcely crowded, and not interested in purchasing from the merchants. I be soundin' like a complainer, but I'm tryin' to make money for my voyage to the Caribbean this year. Plus I between SeaWolf selling shirts for $10 and the Official T-Shirt vendor selling shirts for only $5, while i'm trying to sell my Molly Roger Tanktop for $20.

Our shirts are sexier, original, quality, exclusive, made in the US. We did alright against the competition because of my secret weapon, a saucy assistant wearing my sexy tanktop. I had be beat back all the other vendors who tried to steal her away. Doesn't Miko look totally hot, arrrrgh! Hopefully we will see her in the next calendar. We implemented the no picture without a purchase rule with great success. As it be hard to run a photo booth when your letting everyone take free picture of yourself.

Ship's Log: Ventura Harbor Village: 7-19-08

Lookee here,

This be one of me favorite events, Ventura Harbor Village Pirate Day's, fer I get ta be with my good friends, Pirates for Hire. This be both a blessing n' a curse. Fer I get a nice booth 5 feet infront of dar stage, which means I get ta be entertained by with everyone watching them - I get's no business. I finally figured it out that if I turned my booth 90 degress, people would finally figure out I was not part of the stage n' come up to take pictures. I'll be damned that it worked n' I was busy all Sunday.


Dar Pirates for Hire krewe changed quiet a bit since we first did this event 3 years ago. I heartily approve of their new direction of showin' more skin fer their wenches. Here be 4 new doxies n' lookers they be.

Ship's Log: Un-Official Disney Pirate Party, 5-24-08

More Grog Matie,

Me mate, Brandon of Marked Men be holdin' his 3rd Annual Un-Official Pirate Party last night, where he be inviting all his buccaneers from when he used to work fer dar East Indian Mouse Company (Aye did made up that phrase). I love going ta his party, fer it be wonderful hunting grounds fer wenches or I be a salted codfish!

Blast me eyes when Brandon show me dar June issue of Los Angeles Magazine where they did a featured article called " Pirate Booty: An ex-Jack Sparrow spills on life at the Magic Kingdom".

Ship's Log: CHOC Pirate Party, 5-2-08

More Rum Mate,

This be dar Second Annual CHOC Pirate Party, which I have attended. As always, I be donating a portion of my take to the Children's Hospital, where many of the actors from POTC go visit sick kids to lift dar spirits.

Here be rare video of Tiger Lee sword fighting Capn Syn, a fellow scurvy dog. Dar be three lovely wenches from Marked Men to lift me spirits, yarrr! I'm sure be seeing more of these ladies in dar near future.

Ship's Log: Palm Spring's Ren Festival, 3-28-08

Desert Treasures,

The Palm Springs Renaissance Festival be another pleasurable event put on by Crossroads Group.

My Dress Like a Pirate Photo Booth was next to Lisa, the beautiful bodice maker. She kept sending me lovely wench wrapped in her bodices.

Sometimes even slow events can be profitable. After the Festival ended, I walked down the street to the Spa Resort Casino for drinking, wenching n' gambling, three favorite pyrate activities.

Ship's Log: SF Choc Ball, 3-21-08

God Speed to 'ee,

Here be another good cause to help out, dar The First Pirate Ball n' Silent Auction in San Francisco. I be donating a portion of my take to the Children's Hospital.

This beauty named Colleen, me found at this fine event. Well, pirates n' partying mix well, maties!

Ship's Log: Yuma Ren Faire, 2-1-08

Ahoy Maties,

I be in desert for the 2nd Yuma Renaissance Faire. I did find me some wenches n' pirates wandering about. It be a small, but well run faire.

I did meet a beautiful maiden, named Lisa who crafts an interesting bodice, which I will be using on thar 2009 Hot Pirate Babe Calendar that I am currently working on. I always be keeping a weather eye out fer latest fashion to grace wenches.

Ship's Log: Sarasota Medieval Fair: 11-10-07

Damn me eyes,


This be the third week in me voyage to Florida, which be one of much bad omens. As I tried to attend thar Pirate Week in the Caymen Islands, but they didn't accept me, then I hooked up with the Saint Arrrgustine Pirate Gathering, but they cancelled 3 days before I left fer my voyage. So at last minute I applied to thar Sarasota Medieval Fair n' be accepted.

To my surprise I discovered it be a dry event - no rum or ale. Attendance be low n' sale be even lower, no plunder here. But I did get one beatiful assisant, Nikki, to pass the day by floggin' her n' teachin' her to sword fight, arrrr!

Ship's Log: Age of Chivalry: 10-12-07

Plentiful Treasures,


In the desert of Las Vegas, I seek fortune at the Age of Chivalry, one massive Renaissance faire of 50,000 folk in one weekend. This be one interesting fantasy faire with The Wild, Vikings, Belly Dancers, Gladiators, Scottish, Fairies, Queen & her court n' Pirates, arrrr!

I be one tired pyrate, doing a Moroccan Party, driving all night to do a 3 day faire which starts 10 in the morning n' last till 10 at night. This be me most profitable 3 day weekend fer my Dress Like a Pirate Photo Booth, but the dust did me in with a horrible cough. As alway I keep a weather eye fer Hot Pirate Babes.