Ship's Log: Pirate's Magazine, 8-1-08

Blow my scuttle butt,

Another issue of Pirate's Magazine is out. It be featurin' me column, called "A Siren's Call" where I be searching fer women pirates in the modern world. This be dar 7th issue of the quarterly publication, which be found at yer local Borders Bookstore o' at me website.

Also included in me column is the Pirate Pin-Up, This issue features Paris the Pirate, as a VooDoo Pirate Princess. So all ye wench who thinks they got what I be looking fer, then visit me website Hot Pirate Babes, yarrr!

Ship's Log: 2009 Hot Pirate Babe Calendar Out

Sweet merciful heaven,

The 2009 Hot Pirate Babe Calendar is finally available, so order yers today! This be dar third edition of the finest collection of wenches in the seven seas or curse me fer a papistical Spaniard!

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail San Francisco: 7-23-08

By living thunder,

Ye would think that Festival of Sails San Francisco would be dar most crowded event ever if ye be listening ta dar promoter, but ye be wrong, very wrong. I recoken that dar be just too many things happening in the city or they just don't know how to promote n' organize. I got to the city a day early so I could take photos of the parade of ship, since it normally takes place while I'm vending. I even rented a special 400mm lens, which be mighty smart as the ships were a very far off from the shores.

Here be my very beautiful assistant, Teague, who you might see more of in dar future. I was entertained by a very talented Jack Spare Ribs. I hope ta see you at one the events that I'll be setting up my Olde Tyme Dress Like a Pyrate Photo Booth.

Ship's Log: Ventura Harbor Village: 7-19-08

Lookee here,

This be one of me favorite events, Ventura Harbor Village Pirate Day's, fer I get ta be with my good friends, Pirates for Hire. This be both a blessing n' a curse. Fer I get a nice booth 5 feet infront of dar stage, which means I get ta be entertained by with everyone watching them - I get's no business. I finally figured it out that if I turned my booth 90 degress, people would finally figure out I was not part of the stage n' come up to take pictures. I'll be damned that it worked n' I was busy all Sunday.

Dar Pirates for Hire krewe changed quiet a bit since we first did this event 3 years ago. I heartily approve of their new direction of showin' more skin fer their wenches. Here be 4 new doxies n' lookers they be.

Ship's Log: Pirates 2 - Stagnetti's Revenge

Perish n' plague me,

I got myself on tha set of the Pirates II. This be the 1st time Digital Playground has allowed press in on a shoot, arrrgh lucky me! Pirates I was the most expensive adult movie ever produced n’ the first one ta go mainstream into Blockbuster with an R rated version. Fer Pirates II, Stagnetti’s Revenge, they built a 65-foot pirate ship on a huge sound stage against green screen.

I interviewed Jesse Jane, tha key female actress who plays Jules, the first mate. “I love pirates, their dirty n’ sexy” exclaims Jesse, “so watch out all ye pirates, I be a pirate hunter, so I’m looking fer a perfect pirate mate, so surrender the booty!” None of the female actors got to do any fighting on the first movie, but we will be in this one. They have 6 days of training with 3 different swords masters. Here be a shot from a live sexy scene between Jesse Jand n' Belladonna.

Even Stone, the lead male actor who plays pirate hunter Capt. Edward Reynolds, was tha Green Knight for Medieval Times. He got hurt in a joust, then became an adult actor. Joone, the director, told me how Pirates came to be. One day on set in Bora Bora, Even Stone dressed up as a pirate, who performed this little skit that was included as an extra. Afterward, I thought it would be really fun to do a real pirate movie. The movie is loosely based on a pirate hunter from Puerto Rico. “I love working with pirate re-enactors, they have these hand-made costumes what we could never afford for an extra. They come in n’ have fun playing pirate fer a day.” says Joone.

Ship's Log: Tacoma Tall Ships, 7-3-08

On my soul's salvation,

After a week of restlessness worrying if my grant trip to the great NorthWest has going to sink me financially, dar Tall Ships Tacoma be finally here. They put me between the speakers of the main stage and a large generator in the 3rd Village with the best ships. I complained n' was put on the sidewalk in the 2nd Village with had no tallships. They were gunning fer a million visitor, but I project they got a third to a half million visitors. All the other vendors were complaining and many left before the last day, but I did great. Fortunately I was 10 feet from the bus stop, this ended up being me best show ever.

I know I shouldn't be picking up strays, but this cute wharf rat had just disembarked from a tall ship from one of the youth sailing programs. We exchange pictures fer services rendered - I still have that monkey fist of hers. Without a doubt, this be a profit venture even with half the engagements.

Ship's Log: Seattle Seafair Pirates, 6-28-08

Hell n' corruption,

It been my intent to vend at all the Tall Ship Festivals this summer along the Pacific Coast. Well I go to the border to attend the Victoria Tall Ships when the bloody Canadian bureaucrats told me if I attempted to cross the border with a "work permit n' a special government survey stating that dar was not any competent Canadian Pirate Photographer who could do the same job" that they would put me in jail, arrrrgh!

Instead of rotting in a foreign jail, I when back down to Washington and spent some time with the Seattle Seafair Pirates. I got to ride in dar famous "Moby Duck" an old military amphibious vehicle painted as a pirate ship. They be an amazing group of male only pirates, who participate in over 200 events per year. I attended 3 event with them in one week: trip to Chinese Town, Employee Day at Microsoft, Seafair Marathon. They travel to several foreign countries each year. They have a rough one year long initiation program. They have a separate business management (president, vp, sec, treasure) and a performance crew (capt, bosum, etc). Captains only serve once and for only one year. They do have alot of fun and be very respected by dar locals.

Ship's Log: Rusty Scuppers, 6-20-08

I'd have the pleasure of saying,

that I be thinkin' that this here little pyrate event was going to be a bit corny and not very profitable, but I'd be wrong. I had a great time at the Rusty Scupper Pirate Weekend in Westport, Washington. They had a wonderful parade of pirate ships on floats as well as a few miniature pirate ships in the water. Dar weather started out a bit wet n' overcast, but dar sun come out on Sunday.

It was good ta be known by some of dar local pirate groups up in the great NorthWest. I should of gotten me a pretty little assistant fer it was my busiest event I have done by myself. Sink n' scuttle me if I don't be finding any wanned wenches.

Ship's Log: NQG Article

Bless yer rusty heart,

Christine Lampe from dar gang at No Quarter Given wrote up a grand article about me Olde Tyme Dress LIke a Pyrate Photo Booth.

She should know, as they be vending next to me at a third of the 30 pirate event that I be doing in the past year or two. They currently have the longest continuous Pirate Publication in existence, they been doing the newsletter since Nov 1993. Plus they have the most up to date listing of all pirate events on the internet, it be where I find out about what event I'll be vending at. Smoothing sailing mates!