Ship's Log: Pirate's Magazine, 11-20-08

Cheers ta another issue!

This issue of Pirate's Magazine be featurin' me column, called "A Siren's Call" where I be searching fer women pirates in the modern world. I featured the article on the adult movie: Pirates2: Stagnetti's Revenge. This be dar 8th issue of the quarterly publication, which be found at yer local Borders Bookstore o' at me website.

Also included in me column is the Pirate Pin-Up, This issue features Sharakie; a mysterious Barbary Coast Corsair. So all ye poppet who thinks they got what I be looking fer, then visit me website Hot Pirate Babes, garrr!

I dare say that I also supplied the images for two articles: Creating the Perfect Pirate, Kate makes Top Notch Costumes and A Pirates Life for Me about Brandon Hillock. Here be the group image I created for his Marked Men cast, damn good if I do say so myself!

Ship's Log: Pirates in Paradise: 12-4-08

Da wind in me face,

N' the sun to me back felt good to be in the warmth of Key West for the legendary Pirates in Paradise Festival. Dar be many a pirates from across the county at this festival with in the gates of Fort Taylor. Buccaneers camped in historical tents only a few feet from the beach. Overall this be a grand festival from the re-enactment side, but a very poor event fer us vendors.

We pyrates joined in to the Holiday parade on saturday night, followed by much rum drinking in Key West. Here be Pearl, one of the many fine vixen who I got to know this fine weekend in Paradise, life be curse with too few day n' too many wenches.

Ship's Log: Tiger relocated to St Augustine: 11-24-08

I'd wage me livelihood,

On my move ta St Augustine, Florida the oldest city in US. This place be a good calling fer pyrates with its old building n' stories of pyrates of dar past. This here decision be based on the cursed economy, as I need to be where dar be more pyrate festival to plunder, arrrgh!

This images be taken by Robert Szabo, from a camera n' print on a tin type like they did back in the Civil War days.

Ship's Log: Florida Pirate Festival: 11-21-08

Well n' good,

Finally I've gotten me cargo from the Custom's Haus in Maimi, I am finally able to vend at dar Florida Pirate Festival in St Petersburg, Florida. This be my second time here at Vinoy Park. The performances by the festival's krew of pirates be first rate, both the day n' the night time fire performance.

The sinkin' economy has put a dent on all the festival, as nobody seems to be buying anything. This has gotten me to ponder on havin' to stay in Florida to survive the market. Dar be only 14 pirate events on the West Coast, but 38 pirate events on the East Coast, must be that dar be 3 times as many states on the east side.

Just like last year, I be blessed with finding some real lusty wenches ta shoot fer the next Hot Pirate Babe calendar. I found Nicole n' two other beauties to shoot next day in a sleazy hotel room.

Ship's Log: Queen Anne's Revenge: 11-18-08

In Search of,

A place to set up a permanent Pirate Photo Studio. I be scouring the SouthEastern Seaboard fer a place to call home, from Key West, St Augustine, Savannah, Tybee Island, Charleston, Tampa, Bonita Springs, Orlando. The location must have lots of tourist traffic year around and some pirate history.

In my search I came across a treasure of pyrateness, Queen Anne's Revenge Restaurant, Bar n' Museum. In the hundreds of pirate establishment i've visited, most of them are stores, golf courses, bar, restaurants, boats that are pirate in name only. Employees are not in garb n' know no how to speak pirate. Products are all mass produced plastic from overseas. This place is so refreshing in that it is done right.

The weapons and artifacts on display are all authentic, instead of replicates. It's collection of booty is as good as the Pirate Soul Musuem in Key West, but you don't have to pay to see it. The decor is first rate in its creativity n' construction. The food is quiet eatable, in fact it is great! It's been around for 8 years, which says you can have a quality product n' still make money. This is a must visit for any pyrate visiting Charleston, SC.

Ship's Log: St Arrrugustine Pirate Gathering: 11-14-08

Call me a lubber,

Fer it be grand ta be back on dar mainland again! Curse me fer I be here at the first Saint Arrrgustine Pirate Gathering, but all me baggage still be in the customs house of St Thomas, do no vending fer me. So all I could do is take picture n' enjoy dar happenings. They had a grand parade through the streets of St Augustine, then a battle in front of dar cemetery. The freebooters walked down the old cobblestone roads of St George Street to fight in front of the Government House. Great crowds of on looker gather around to view the battle, but the trolleys didn't show up in time to bring them back to the Fountain of Youth. Dar vendors be dammed with no city folks to plunder.

Here be Molly, a beautiful wench I found at the tattoo booth. The Buccanner Bash on Saturday night be a blast with a number of pyrate musicians performing fer a rough crowd of drunken Buccaneers. Sunday morning's pirate court be very entertaining as well.

Island Decisions: 11-6-08

Captain make tough decisions,

Curse me, after 10 days in St Thomas, looking at different location to set up a Pirate Photo Studio n' considering many factors such as rents, traffic, location, air conditioning, promotions, living conditions - I made the decision not to set up on the island. I found that most of the young cruise ship passengers go to the beach or other active pursuits, while the older passengers go shopping. The devil say that dar older a person gets, the less they are willing to pay to have their picture taken.

By my reckonin', I could make it here, but it would not be easy. Lookin' at the living condition of hot humidity, being eaten alive by mosquitoes, high cost of living, bad traffic, 3rd world living conditions, I decided that I would not be happy living here. It's a great place for me to visit, but I admit to being spoiled by living in San Diego. I let go of my ego n' listened to what my intuition be tellin' me, arrrrgh!


Ship's Log: St John: 11-8-08

Hot as a cannon in battle,

I boarded a ship to attach St John, US Virgin Islands. Met with Capt'n Paul Jordan, who I meet at the pirate's ball. He be plannin' a pirate festival in St Johns. He showed me all the pirate historical spots on the island. I took a treasure load of images that may find its way in the next Hot Pirate Babe Calendar.

Then I meet with dar sizzling pirate fire dance troup, Pyros of the Caribbean. We did a photo shoot in an old sugar plantation and in the water on the clear blue water beach at sunset. St Johns be much more of the Caribbean paradise over the Manhatten feel of St Thomas. I did a little shoot of the girls of Pyros for a possible "A Siren Call" article in Pirates Magazine.

Ship's Log: St Thomas Pirate Ball: 11-1-08

Yo Ho Ho n' a bottle of rum,

Aye, dar be a night of fun at St Thomas Pirate Ball held at Blue Beards Castle. Featurin' the amazin' pirate fire dance troup, Pyros of the Caribbean.

By God's name, I have to comment Casey Thornburg, the event organizer for puttin' on this weekend's event, fer he be on his death bed with leukemia only 2 months ago, yarrr!

Ships Log: St Thomas Pirate Festival, 11-1-08

Sunny day on dar beach,

Here be dar first St Thomas Pirate Festival. A bit light on dar crowds, but a very successful sand castle contest. It be a pleasure havin' me photo booth only short stones throw from ta ocean, man. This be grand to take a dip in the ocean waters during a festival n' walk over ta me hotel a 100 feet away.

Ships Log: Pirate Halloween, 10-31-08

Avast ye scurvy dogs,

I went to Tickles Dockside Pub fer dar Official St Thomas Pirate Festival Halloween Party n' Costume Contest. I meet dar Brethern of Red Hook, a pirate guild that performs at one of local resort. Last year only 8 folks dressed up, but about 60 pirates showed up. They had a contest for best wench, best first mate n' best captain, arrrrgh!

Ship's Log: Pirates Landing St Thomas: 10-31-08

Ahoy Matie,

We boarded the pirate ship, the Bones, to invade the Harbor of downtown Charotte Amalie. This is the kick of event for St Thomas Pirate Festival. Pictures of the landing show up on the front page of the local newspaper the next day.

Ship's Log: First Day in St Thomas: 10-28-08

Land Hole!

After much planning, driving, n' flying, I finally arrived at dar Island of Virgins, St Thomas. I stayed with my pirate mate, Casey, who brought me to Black Beards Tower, one of the four historical landmarks on the island. This sky tower be built in 1679 as a watchtower fer the harbor of Charlotte Amalie.

Here be Casey Thornburg, the event promoter of the first St Thomas Pirate Festival. I spend most of the day visiting possible sites to set up my pirate portrait photo studio. At day's end I swam in warm clear blue water of shappire beach, it felt wonderful, arrrrgh!

Ship's Log: Fantasy Fest: 10-24-08

Curse me,

This be my second voyage ta Fantasy Fest, the 10 day event of debauchery held on Key West, n' my very last event on the mainland before heading out to St Thomas. This years theme be "Pirates, Pundits and Political Party Animals."

Last year I did well vendin' at dar Fantasy Fest Street Fair, this year be a disaster in that I didn't even make me booth fee. On top of that it rained buckets fer 20 minutes at a time. Dropped my treasured Canon camera in the water n' couldn't take any pictures on friday, so I have no pictures at the Rum Barrel Pirate Bash Costume Contest.

After my camera dried out for a day, it begin working with some issues. So I did get some images from a hard day of shooting nude wenches walking around in public, who be more than happy to let ye talk photos of them. This be one of my favorite way of viewing art, yarrr!

Ship's Log: Pirate Days at the Colony: 10-18-08

Beginnin' of a long voyage,

Well this be my trans-american voyage to St Thomas. Well in the middle of my 3000 mile route, dar happened to be a pyrate event near Dallas, called Pirate Days at the Colony. It turned out to be a fine first time event, but they do need more pirates. It be a joy meeting with some long time fans of me artwork. Listened to a grand Celtic band called: NeedFire.

Here be two lovely wenches who happened ta be twins. Steady as she goes, maties.

Ship's Log: Age of Chivalry: 10-10-08

What dar desert winds may bring,

This be me very last West Coast event before setting sail to the Island of Virgins. In the desert of Las Vegas, I seek fortune at the Age of Chivalry, one massive Renaissance faire of 50,000 folk in one weekend. This be one interesting fantasy faire with The Wild, Vikings, Belly Dancers, Gladiators, Scottish, Fairies, Queen & her court n' Pirates.

Here be Yaya Han, Miss Feb. of the 2009 Hot Pirate Babes Calendar model, who be signing her authographs fer those lucky visitor to me photo booth. As with most events in this down economy, my best event of last year didn't bring me fortune, but the same dry cough that I caught last year, arrrrrgh!

Bilgemunky Review of the 2009 Hot Pirate Babes Calendar

Ahoy all ye scavenger o' the sea,

My mate, Bilge, reviewed the 2009 Hot Pirate Babe on his grand website: Bilgemunky. His fancy words describe me calendar like only a true scurvy dog can. He has been runnin' a chart of Hot Pirate Babes Facial Expression Tally that be comparing the facial expressions between the 2007, 2008 n' 2009 calendars. He also has dar most comprehensive review of Rum on the web, arrrrgh!

Ship's Log: Two Harbor's Buccaneer Days: 10-3-08

Why is the rum always gone,

Cause all the pirates be partyin' at dar Two Harbor Buccaneer Days. I took the local ferry, the Catalina Express on friday. The tall ship, Lynn, made an appearance. I spend the weekend unloading me Molly Roger goods & calendars ta the hundreds of partying pyrates.

Sink n' scuttle me if I didn' have a long hard day placin' me Molly mark on dar many wenches lovely treasure chest. I pyrate's work is never done, arrrgh!

Ship's Log: Ojai Pirate Faire: 9-27-08

By the blood in me heart,

This be 17th year for Ojai Pirate Faire the oldest pirate festival on dar west coast. I be settin' up me Olde Tyme Dress Like A Pyrate Photo Booth for my very last faire in California. It be a very good weekend fer me, with saying good bye to lots of old friends.

Here be 3 of me beautiful models from the 2009 Calendar (Carolyn - Ms May, JJ - Ms June, Ramona - Ms July) who be on hand ta sign calendars on saturday. Plus Anyssa - Ms Sept (in wench with dar umbrella in the montage above) be on dar on Sun to sign as well.

Ship's Log: Oceanside Harbor Days: 9-20-08

Dar Red Coats be Coming!

Well this be dar second Oceanside Harbor Day with pirates, that I be vending at. It be fun to meet up with Capt Joseph Ferguson's Company of the Royal Welch Fusllers 23rd Foot Regiment at this event, as you need some bad guys to shoot at, arrrgh!

Not quiet as profitable in doubloons, but far more profitable in my search for pirate wentches. I had a number of lusty doxies drop by my booth to audition for the 2010 Hot Pirate Babe Calendar. Here be Siouxsie, my lovely assistant for the day. I continue to have the luck of dar devil in getting lusty wenches as helpers.

Ship's Log: Pirate Marriage Vows, 9-7-08

Mary sweat Jesus,

No fear of evil curses says you... dar invite to Debbie n' Dennis Hanon's renewal of marriage vows says. So on high noon on Sept 7, 2008 they celebrated dar 25 years of service before the mast and a hardy krew of HMS Stranglehold. The Scurvy Dogs performed some of their cutlass fighting before the crowd, include the first public performance of the double cutlass routine, arrrgh!

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - San Diego, 8-20-08

By Heaven n' Hell,

Only one day of rest between LA and the San Diego Festival of Sail. It was the last and best organized of all the tallship festivals, but not as good as Tacoma. 150 vendors all in one small area, almost everyone had good spot, lot of people but not many buyers. This one is 5 long days, with no time to board any of the tall ships.

I be the son of a double eye whore from the reeking gutter of Rotterdam if I don't have the luck of the devil with my last few assistants, every single one is hotty. Marina be this year's Miss Teenage San Diego. Life be good as a pirate.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - Los Angeles, 8-15-08

Bleed me,

The Festival of Sails Los Angeles be just like dar one in San Francisco: expensive, divided, disorganized, scarcely crowded, and not interested in purchasing from the merchants. I be soundin' like a complainer, but I'm tryin' to make money for my voyage to the Caribbean this year. Plus I between SeaWolf selling shirts for $10 and the Official T-Shirt vendor selling shirts for only $5, while i'm trying to sell my Molly Roger Tanktop for $20.

Our shirts are sexier, original, quality, exclusive, made in the US. We did alright against the competition because of my secret weapon, a saucy assistant wearing my sexy tanktop. I had be beat back all the other vendors who tried to steal her away. Doesn't Miko look totally hot, arrrrgh! Hopefully we will see her in the next calendar. We implemented the no picture without a purchase rule with great success. As it be hard to run a photo booth when your letting everyone take free picture of yourself.

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail - Oxnard, 8-8-08

Damn me buttons,

Here I be at dar Oxnard - Channel Islands Tall Ships Festival. This might be dar small of the Tallships Festival of the season, but it was profitable one, after I moved me booth from the front of the entrance to in front of the line for the HMS Bounty, the one made for the 1960 Mutiny of the Bounty movie with Marlon Brando. The weather was perfect with a nice sea breeze all day. Had dinner and rum at dar Port Royal Privateers encampment, fine group of rouges. May your grog be cold n' wet, your sails full of wind and yer women hot
n' sweaty.

Ship's Log: St. Thomas Pirate Festival

Ahoy Maties,

I be planning a trip ta the Caribbean, somewhere with lots of wenches . . . the Virgin Islands. I will be vending at the first St Thomas Pirate Festival, which be held on Oct 31 to Nov 3, 2008. Every true pirate should take a visit over dar! Here be an entree I pirated from Nicole Cargill-Kipar's History Resources for the PotC about the pirate haven.

Saint Thomas - Mountainous and sparsely covered in forest, St. Thomas has several low peaks which dominate its silhouette. St. Thomas Harbor is a well-sheltered deep water harbor, peeking out between St. Thomas proper and the smaller, uninhabited Hassel Island. The island is semi-arid and the vegetation is sparse besides trees.

St. Thomas was settled by the Dutch in 1657 and soon became home to several bands of English pirates. The island's population is mainly Danish (with Dutch and Portuguese Jews living there as well) and in 1672 the Danish India Company purchased the island. In 1674 the King of Denmark purchased the island and named the Port Charlotte Amalie, after his wife. Many nobles at the time believed that he purchased the island for the express purpose of naming the port as such.

Because the Danish Navy did not operate as far south as the Caribbean (and was embroiled in a bitter war against the Swedes), the King empowered the Governor of the Danish West Indies (who resided in Charlotte Amalie) to issue Letters of Marque at his discretion.

The island became a haven for pirates to rival Tortuga and is home to a black market nearly as large as CuraƧao.

St. Thomas is the only whole colony in the Caribbean not controlled by the French, English, Dutch, or Spanish. It was the extent of the Danish colonial empire at the time of its founding. St. Thomas is home to a very eclectic and moderately interesting array of people. The nearest other port that is not controlled by the 'big four' (France, Spain, Britain, or the Netherlands) is the Portuguese colony at Buenos Aires, in Brazil.

So come on over an join me in my raid of a true pirate town, yarrrr!

Ship's Log: Pirate's Magazine, 8-1-08

Blow my scuttle butt,

Another issue of Pirate's Magazine is out. It be featurin' me column, called "A Siren's Call" where I be searching fer women pirates in the modern world. This be dar 7th issue of the quarterly publication, which be found at yer local Borders Bookstore o' at me website.

Also included in me column is the Pirate Pin-Up, This issue features Paris the Pirate, as a VooDoo Pirate Princess. So all ye wench who thinks they got what I be looking fer, then visit me website Hot Pirate Babes, yarrr!

Ship's Log: 2009 Hot Pirate Babe Calendar Out

Sweet merciful heaven,

The 2009 Hot Pirate Babe Calendar is finally available, so order yers today! This be dar third edition of the finest collection of wenches in the seven seas or curse me fer a papistical Spaniard!

Ship's Log: Festival of Sail San Francisco: 7-23-08

By living thunder,

Ye would think that Festival of Sails San Francisco would be dar most crowded event ever if ye be listening ta dar promoter, but ye be wrong, very wrong. I recoken that dar be just too many things happening in the city or they just don't know how to promote n' organize. I got to the city a day early so I could take photos of the parade of ship, since it normally takes place while I'm vending. I even rented a special 400mm lens, which be mighty smart as the ships were a very far off from the shores.

Here be my very beautiful assistant, Teague, who you might see more of in dar future. I was entertained by a very talented Jack Spare Ribs. I hope ta see you at one the events that I'll be setting up my Olde Tyme Dress Like a Pyrate Photo Booth.

Ship's Log: Ventura Harbor Village: 7-19-08

Lookee here,

This be one of me favorite events, Ventura Harbor Village Pirate Day's, fer I get ta be with my good friends, Pirates for Hire. This be both a blessing n' a curse. Fer I get a nice booth 5 feet infront of dar stage, which means I get ta be entertained by with everyone watching them - I get's no business. I finally figured it out that if I turned my booth 90 degress, people would finally figure out I was not part of the stage n' come up to take pictures. I'll be damned that it worked n' I was busy all Sunday.

Dar Pirates for Hire krewe changed quiet a bit since we first did this event 3 years ago. I heartily approve of their new direction of showin' more skin fer their wenches. Here be 4 new doxies n' lookers they be.